What is the definition of Salaries Gravity Altering Positively Charged Brain Cells?

Imagine this: "The salary gravity altering positively charged brain cells decided to join the party, causing a brainwave of euphoria that felt more like an electric shock in my noggin!" Now, here's an edgy example sentence: "The CEO's decision to raise salaries by $5k each quarter, like a cosmic magnet pulling in all the positive charged neurons, has resulted in a brainwave of existential dread that's more likely to cause a panic attack than a coffee spill."